WARNING!! Fucked up reasoning ahead. Tell your children to leave the room.

being humans,
we can all be shitty
from time to time.
it's a part of
the ebb and flow.
  i know i
     have done some shitty
things on occasion.
it doesn't mean
that you are a shitty person,
it just means that you're
human, and have made mistakes.
the trick is to learn,
become more understanding,
and get over yourself.
it is a hard lesson to find out
that you are, in fact, not the center
of the universe.
but it happens
at the right time
for most of us.
but when i see people
being run over the coals
     publicly 
for being an asshole,
my first thought is,
"How, exactly, is calling them
out for being a dick
going to make them any
less of a dick?"
in general, we are
victims of circumstance.
all of the shitty shit
we fall in
covers us after a while,
and we come to the
conclusion
that life must just be
that shitty,
so we better start shitting
on others, post haste,
to level out the playing field a bit.
so maybe letting go of
some baggage
would be advantageous
at this point.
because, the more you shit
upon people,
the more they shit upon you.
and the next thing you know,
the entire world is covered in shit.
suddenly, there are predatory lenders,
wars being waged to garnish profit,
and religious institutions
patting down the poor
for handouts.
it would be absolute chaos.
as hard as it may be
to let shit go,
someone has to do it
at some point,
or we're going to wind up
eating out of a toilet.

A Paycheck Away

I talk to the
forgotten.
They live all around us
on the streets,
in the aqueducts,
behind shopping malls,
and garbage cans.
They were once children,
born with a chance.
In their eyes,
you can still see
the spark of life
that has been
gifted
to us all.
Not all of them
face addiction.
Some just made
a couple of bad choices.
Some only need
another chance.
But all of them
are ours.
They belong to you
and me.
They are brothers
and sisters,
fathers and mothers,
lovers, and alive
in the great spectacle
we call life.
I speak
to the soiled
who could just use
a hand
getting up,
and getting on
with where they should be
rather than being punished
for where they are.
And let's face it,
most of us are
but a step away from
the same plot
of earth
they inhabit.
Most of us
are within a couple
of weeks
of being broken down too.
We just don't want
to admit it.

Bring Us Your Tired

we are given a few
meager choices
when election time
rolls around.
on one side there is
more of the same.
on the other side
there is
more of the same.
empty promises
and false hope.
big ideas that turn
on us at the last moment
and break us a little bit more.
career executioners
ready the ax
for their buddies
in the financial gains department
to make a few bucks
from the blood
of the broken.
everyone has the answers,
but i am speechless.
i have nothing to give you.
the system is too big,
and they will only allow you
to elect one of the two
who they want to win.
no one else has enough money
to run. and there's really
no one who stands on the
issues that confront us all.
so i don't have an answer for you.
all i can do is sit back
and watch the tyranny unfold
while muttering,
"WHAT THE FUCK?" to myself
until the final hours
are at hand
and
we get a new
'same old thing'
to bitch about in the future.
if we protest by
not voting,
we get the same goddamn thing.
if we protest by voting
for the little guy or gal with the
far out opinions,
we get the same goddamn thing.
if we vote for the one party /
two party system,
we get the same goddamn thing.
we get divide and conquer all over again.
we get to save our pennies
for the pump.
we get to hear how
they need more out
of our dwindling paychecks
to pay for road construction.
we get another nail
in an already sealed coffin.
but there will come a point
where we have to take
a step back and say,
"the system is broken,
but it is not as broken
as We The People."

what i see when i look back toward the future

i wonder of
the stars
and the
breaking hearts,
but the meaning has been lost
and the trials are just beginning.
the hands are about
the throat,
choking the meaning back
like tears.
we hold on and live,
but what is it truly?
have we yet to cower
in a way that best
represents our inner
coward?
we are told
over and again
how we need this,
how we yearn
for this,
how we live for this,
yet i see no one living.
i see dying eyes in
drought
licking at the sky
for a single drop
to quench the parched
throats
of the multitudes.
i see screaming
in the streets for fair
treatment
while wealthy pigs
pay nothing for their
share.
i see money played
like a game
to those who can
afford to wipe their
assholes with the
interest.
i see entire families
living under one roof
so they may eat,
so they may sleep,
so they may live.
i see children
without a home
drowning
for freedom.
i see new wars
contrived and convincing,
building and breaking
hope for future peace.
i see the tired tears
of those who feel
helpless from it all.
i see the blindness
in us all.
i see the game
and it's time
to stop playing.

what we talk about when we talk about what we were talking about

older now,
i have realized
that i really don't
give a shit
about what people think:
their opinions,
their answers to
obvious questions,
their convictions,
and how far they are
willing to go
for those convictions.
you see,
it's pretty much
just a bunch of opinions
looped together
to make people
feel better about
the final outcome,
the end scene,
the big finale.
i know people that
truly believe
in the shit they spew.
they are so convinced
that they are willing
to start wars over
their slop.
older now,
i'm of the opinion
that there are no
true opinions.
some people get it
while other people do not.
it's just the way of things.
hell, there are some of us
that never learn how to
properly
make love,
that there are two people involved
(in most circumstances)
and everyone involved
should be having a good time
before getting off
in a way that pleases
all parties concerned.
it's just a simple
example,
but if everyone
learned to fuck properly,
maybe we could learn
to love in the same breath,
or learn to accept
one another for
face value
without all of the secrecy,
self consciousness,
and hurt.
now i really don't believe
that everyone could learn
how to properly fuck.
but maybe we could stop
trying so hard to fuck each other
and get on with the part
that is more concerned with
love.

:)

a simple smile
is all that someone
ever needs.

we are all in
the same mess.
we feel pain
in the same way.

we have our struggles,
our needs,
our forms of
baggage
that we believe
no one
else can possibly
understand.
but we are not that
different.

if you
break it all down,
you will find
that it is simple:
we are not
kind enough to
each other.

we have been told
that opposition
is our only choice
in this
black and white
world.
you are either for it
or against it,
and there is no other way.
but life is all about
shades of gray.
nothing is ever
so decisive
that there isn't another
answer.
so be that answer,
be sympathetic,
lend an ear.
gift someone a smile.
it is not that difficult.

what we're looking for

we're small things,
hardly noticeable.
our traps are
           the traps
we set for
      ourselves.
watch any other
   creature
on this planet,
and you will know
it to be
            true.
we weave the web
and we wait for
       disaster.
we tend the fields
and reap what
       we sow.
but somehow
we believe that
it is all
out of our control.
we pretend to be puppets
when no one tugs the strings.
we blame the puppet master
every time we stumble.
there's a knock
                   on the door,
but no one is there
when we answer.
we are the bastions of light
for which we have always searched.
we are only as good as our actions.
we are our only hope.

prophecy in dark

hold your demons
tightly
so they may comfort you
when the bell tolls.
embrace the beast
within
for it may save you
from yourself
when the end
draws near
and you hear
the harps play
from the sky
as the warplanes strike
down with the fury
of the little gods
within us all.
bode your children well
as they march upon
foreign soil
to wake the screaming hell,
unleashing the beast.
scream the bloody horror
of it all
so each of us
can remember
what it is to sound out
so we may not forget
we once had a voice
that could have ended it all
before it ever began.

those among us

the dark sea churns
and burdens the
strife within
us all-
each and every one
of us
burns in the black
confines of the soul,
stricken within
our grieving bones,
held and hurled
into the thick
of it all
by
torturous talons
of life and living,
ripped and reaping,
wrought and beguiled
until,
from the furnace,
we emerge
hardened
and as sharp
as any fang-
time beats down
upon our weary frames,
churning from us
a lecherous
longing
for war and redemption.
may the blood churn.
may the skin
fall from rapture
and boil
within the sick
of our deeds.
may the soil
feed from the thick
and blossom
flowers
from our filth.
may the baking sun
beat down
and heat the earth
where time forgets
our ignorance,
and lends only
compassion to
our memory.

it's been so long since you've gone

there will never be a time
when i don't remember you,
when i don't fall back into
the recesses of my mind
and think of you.

i never wondered where you went.
i only considered who you were,
and why you couldn't begin
to understand
that i wasn't the cure
for the sickness that ailed you.
now the lines are but a blur
and i'm still holding true.
the emotions still stir
and there's nothing left to do.

but i remember,
i remember so well
the tiring days
as you went through hell
and all i could do was look on
as you screamed inside
and whimpered out
through clenched teeth.

the memories
are penance
and the present
is patience
and all the weight
hasn't lifted
from my heart
even through
the times
that i fell apart
and felt as if
i were ripping
at the seams.

but all the memories
retain their shadows,
leaving a feeling
so shallow
as i grip tightly
to the the nails
that keep me
rooted in place-
to the memory of you
to the images of you
falling from grace.

one step closer

beneath it all
there is something
deeper.
past the doubt
and religiousness,
past the surface of truth
and the convenient lies,
there is something
tangible.

the deeper you go,
the trials lessen.
the winding lies
of everyday life
break free
and become
singular truths.

live and breath.
become broken.
begin to heal.
and what if this
imaginary hell
is of your own
concoction?

the ideas,
the swarming
proclamations,
the tired trials of
everyday life
bend and shatter
at the core
when you
recognize the hoax.

the opinions drag
and warpppppp .....

it is always
one step ahead
to make you believe
that you are living it,
that there is nothing
beyond the bitter cream
that rises to the top.

but there is something
deeper.

blot out the images,
reduce the deduction,
look past the gods
and their grinding
soldiers who fight
for illusion.

embrace the calm.
shower in objective
disconnection.
lesson the burden.

remain curious.

and you will
find
it has been behind
your eyes
the entire time.

supernatural beings and the right to an income

god wouldn't ask
for money
because god
is only as real
as the reflection
staring back
at you
from the mirror.
so let's not
get our shit stacked
in the wrong order.
if you want to
make a difference,
take positive action.
it's up to you.
every good thing
you've seen happen
in the world
is because someone
much like you
decided to do
the right thing.
every bad thing you
have
ever seen happen
in the world
is because someone
like you
decided to do
something bad.
let's put blame
where it belongs
and stop using nature
as a scapegoat
to vindicate
our actions.
god doesn't need money
because god isn't saving up
for that big electric bill,
or to pay the DMV fees on
his or her new car.
god isn't looking through
his or her bank statement
and thinking, "gee, i better
ask for a little more this month
so i can have some
groceries in the fridge."
god is something
that happens
when you decide not
to flip off the guy
in the next lane
for cutting you off
on the freeway.

the burden of breathing

is as sweet as honey
dipped in the heart
of the devil
and set aflame
with bourbon.

sweat soaked
and wrenched awake
at 3:02 AM
while the sirens blare
and the music
thumps the night
in casual vibration
like nobody's listening.

you reach out
and no one's there.

the screech of a cat.
the creak of the house
as it settles into
the cold.

take a step back.
let the pace set itself.
the sun will come,
and the spiders
will weave webs.
the troubles of today
are the troubles of tomorrow.

you're back to sleep
again,
but not for long.

show me the money. show me sympathy.

if the shoe
were on
the other foot,
you could be
damn sure
our leaders
would do
their best
to ensure
an equal future
for all
of the people.

you could
be damn sure
that they would
drop the religious freedom
bullshit
which has already
been established
in our Constitution,
and focus on actual issues.

maybe they could
set down some new rules
limiting lenders
from raping
consumers
with high interest rate loans.

maybe they could
bring they real criminals
to trail
for creating the deepest
economic downfall
since
The Great Depression.

maybe they could focus on the environment
rather than fixating on the pissing match
over oil that
they're having with other Super Powers.

i have been called a
Socialist
by the best of them.
the truth of the matter is that
i really don't fit myself into
tiny boxes with pretty labels.

Democracy is our best hope.
but there are a great many things
that need to be Socialized.
Medicine, Education, Utilities,
gas prices, the Lending System,
Political Spending, Social Security.
so there are certain programs
that need to be set up
to ensure a responsible future.
if the people are educated,
they can create a brighter future.
if their health is secured,
they can live without fear of
bankruptcy. if they can pay their bills
and rely upon a fair figure every
time, they are less likely to sit
in the dark. if they can afford to make
payments at an affordable rate,
they are more likely to pay off
their loans. if they can count on
the prices at the pump, they can drive
to work and be productive.
if they can trust their
Officials, they are more likely to vote
in the next election. if they know they
are going to be supported in their
old age, they are more likely to
produce in their youth.

it's all relative.

finally, if the people know
they are being taxed at the same rate
as their bosses, as their corporate masters,
they can relate to a capitol gains tax,
a luxury tax, a death tax, a tax tax.

but it is hard to pay for everything
knowing that the Silver Spoon Tribe
is living off our efforts.

really, isn't that what equality is
all about?

turn on the lights

if you have found the Lord,
good for you.
i've been looking for that
bastard for a long time.
so when you run into
Him again, ask Him
why this? why now?
and
what for?

is this to build some
Omnipotent ego?
does crushing the weak
by the hands of the weak
somehow turn Him on?

does He get his kicks
from watching babies die?

is there some point
to abuse
that i'm missing?

until you can come
to me with a reasonable,
and logical answer,
i'm going to go with
the
'god hiding from himself'
theory
that clearly states
we are the evil in the world,
and we are the good
in the world. it is up to us to
make this world a better place.

maybe some day we'll
embrace that understanding
and let go of all of the bullshit
that keeps us at each others throats.

don't get me wrong,
your faith isn't the issue.
the issue is your bias toward
your faith. spirituality and a strong
sense of the natural world
is indicative to a positive
and healthy life. everyone
has faith in something
whether they believe in a higher
power
or not. but don't be
mistaken,
the phrase, "my god is better
than your god," and all the
dark mentality
related to your biased view is
one of the biggest problems
humanity faces.

i wonder how many people
would be truly alarmed at what
we are doing to our environment
if they new the planet was an
organism that relied on our
cooperation to maintain a healthy
existence? what would happen
if they knew that, collectively, we
are the god that has to rush in to
save the day? would they be
as complacent?

so it's not a matter of faith.
it is a matter of blind ignorance.
if we continue to
shuffle around in the dark,
we're eventually going to bump
into a wall.

i just hope we're smart enough to
reach out and look for
a light switch.

living rich in a poor world

a package of noodles
and some sauce.
that only leaves a little
left
to pay one of the many bills
that have stacked up.
should we keep the
heat?
maybe going without
lights
won't be as bad as it seems.
there's always the chance
the landlord will be
understanding.
how long will it be
before the cops catch on
that you're driving without
insurance?
how far can you get
on $5.00 worth of gas?
the oil change can wait
until next month.
fuck it,
buy an ice cream cone
and sit in the park.
watch the people walk by.
wonder how they're making it.
enjoy the view.
stare at the homeless man
sorting through
the trash can
for bottles,
for aluminum,
for pay dirt.
wonder how that will
be
if you can't hold on.
maybe a friend will let you
sleep on their couch
for a few days.
but your family is relying on you.
where will they go?
you imagine their smiles
and put the noodles back on the shelf.
you put the sauce back too.
time for ice cream.

it's okay to dream.
you can imagine the world
any way you want to.
no one can
stand in your way
when you dream
the dreamy dreams
of the dreamer.

bark like a dog.
imagine no religion.
be the change.
right the wrongs.

it's up to you.

but whatever you do,
do not dream the dreams
of the wealthy,
the morally bankrupt,
the leaders of nations,
the Capitalist,
or the dreams of the
otherwise
dreamless.
for there is no Hell
greater
than the Hell
of the Lame.

so pet the dog.
devastate religion.
change to the greater good.
become perfection.
and dream.

true belivers

there is nothing so
arrogant
as someone who believes
their opinion
is the opinion
by which
all others
        should be judged.

as if their
their slant
is the angle
to which
all morals
         should be measured.

and what i mean by
opinion
is all of those teachings
that were forced upon us
from an early age;
the ones that have stacked up
and burdened us into
believing in a vengeful
hope that was never there -
a simple interpretation
by which
the multitudes have fallen.

for when love
dilutes love through inequality
it is not true love,
but force reckoned through fear.

and what i mean by fear
is the inability to move
past opinions
and open your eyes long enough
to see that
you are not the only one
blessed with sight.

lift

in the snow
i see a dove
and it is dying.

it is cold,
and the white
is so blinding.

there are
broken wings
for as far
as can be seen.

but its breath
is still
rising.

its heart
is still
pumping.

and the rain ...
the rain will be
coming.

soon
the end
will be here
and the dove
can let go
its fear
and the blood
can come misting
from the heavens
like lonely
listless
tears
torn from
heathens.

and the suffering
will finally
be laid
to rest.

when i open
my eyes,
it is my wings
that are
broken.

fly.